> I plan not to have a cell phone in this or any future lifetime.
Despite the fact that I live and work in the technosphere, I've actually been able to keep this under relative control with a little bit of planning and effort. I maintain that having a cell phone is just for my convenience, not for anyone else's. Ideally, it replaces pay phones, which are now mostly something that kids ask: what's that? So here's a few tips on how to make sure cell phones don't ruin your life:
- Turn them off when you're at home or actually busy
This seems like a simple thing, but if people get the idea that you're always reachable by your cell phone, you will, uh, always be reached. People who newly get my number find themselves disappointed on a regular basis that calling the number usually takes them straight to voice mail. Then they stop doing it, unless it's actually important or they know (because I've told them) that I'm reachable that way.
- Set your ringtone to vibrate
I know that the ringtone download business is bigger than the book business, but really, if you're too engaged with the world around you to notice that buzzing in your pocket, you're too busy to be talking on the phone. Take a deep breath: if it's important, they'll leave a message or call back. So few things in this world are actually that important anyway. So feel the buzz; your fellow humans around you will thank you when they don't have to listen to the first few notes of Nelly Furtado's latest hit.
- Resist the urge to answer if it's not convenient for you
If you're not expecting a call, let voice mail do it's work. A lot of people call you not when they want to talk about something, but rather when they have information to deposit with you. That's great, the beep will tell you when to deposit it, and I'll receive it when I get around to it -- when it's convenient for me to receive it, not when it's convenient for you to deposit it. I think that's a fair tradeoff: your convenience is that you can drop it off when it's good for you, mine is that I'll get it when it's convenient for me.
- Get good at SMS
If you can type "@ store, need nething?" or "Flight 1 hour l8, cu @ 7" quickly, you can save an entire conversation.
- Cut conversations short if the issue can be dealt with in some other way
I try to resist providing answers to complex questions on the phone. Instead I often say: yeah, that's a good one. Let me think about that and get back to you. Better still: I'll likely forget about this, so follow up with email to me; that way you can be more articulate about the issue, and I'll be sure to answer your question and give it the attention it deserves, rather than giving you an off-the-cuff answer now.
- Try not to use the phone just to chat
If you want to be social, arrange to go to a coffee shop or go on a walk. Cell phones don't transmit body language very well, and they make your ear sweat. And the caffeine or walk will do you good. Encourage your callers to do likewise: I'd love to tell you about this movie I saw last night, but not on the phone. Let's meet and get a milkshake.
- If someone insists on talking to you RIGHT NOW, give them your undivided attention
This is especially important if you're doing something else: driving, standing in line at the store, having coffee or going for a walk with friends. Stop whatever it is you're doing, and let the caller know you have done so. Don't fool yourself that you can do both at the same time: you can't. "Ok, I've pulled over. Now what is it that I can help you with?" -- make it clear that they have inconvenienced you, and they'll treat your time as being more important than they normally do if they think you're simply multitasking. Or if it's not all that important, make an appointment to talk when you're not busy. "Sorry, I need both hands for driving right now; can I call you later?"
- Recognize that cell phones suck
The technology just isn't any damn good. Dropouts, static, lousy vocoders, etc. all add up to an unfulfilling experience. Let your caller know that you think so: I'd love to keep talking to you, but these cell phones suck. Let's talk later on a real phone, or better yet: let's get together.
You're welcome,
/jordan